guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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