Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize