just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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