Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
