just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
