Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
