Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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