I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
