Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
