And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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