Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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