He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
