For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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