You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I forget how to act sober
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
