I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
try to milk me bitch
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
