Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
