we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
