So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
