So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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