I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
im having a threesome with these popsicles
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
