...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
