So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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