Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
