i think my tv is drunk
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
