It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
