True but thats because hes a fetus.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
