Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
