More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize