I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
