I heard we made out
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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