I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
