You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
tell me about the eggs
Randomize