We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize