i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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