guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
