what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
