Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
