You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize