yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
That was an excessively violent trivia night
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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