But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
