If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Define "chronic" masturbator.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize