I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize