Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
