I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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