Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
