i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Help me help you realize you are a moron
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize