big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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