ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
