no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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