I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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