Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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