i don't like sucking hair
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
