Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize