Screwed.edu
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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