You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize