they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
