i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
