Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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