Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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