This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
