This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Send help, water and tortillas.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize